I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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