he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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