69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
