Me. At least after what I've been through.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
