so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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