fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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