Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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