Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
