u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
