do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
