Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
dude. I can hear the air.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
