It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We are all done wearing pants today
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
