THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
