You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
