I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she smelled like a LAN party
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
