She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
