Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
