I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
