some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
