So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
