Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
