my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
ok first of all what the fuck
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
