He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
