You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
