So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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