Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
