that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
