The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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