when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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