Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My bed smells like the plague
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
