census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
