I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
