yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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