I could have mohawked her pubes.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize