She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
