Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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