I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
