There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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