No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
