guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
