The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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