I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize