Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
