so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
