I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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