Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
