are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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