you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
