I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
