Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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