scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
4 words: hood of his car
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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