Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
