I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
