i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
