Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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