Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize