Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
