Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
